Thursday, December 17, 2009

oh...women!

“Know how sublime a thing it is to suffer and be strong.”

I was shooting rubber bands at a coworker today. I had an entire bag fresh off the Staples truck and I kept firing them at her. Before long there were rubber bands strewn all over my floor. Running around and picking them all up, I began to stare at the pile of them in my hands. I stretched one every which way, wrapping it around my fingers, my wrist, attaching things to it, using it to hold things together. Rubber bands are incredibly useful and because of their flexibility, they are resilient.

Resiliency.

I sat and thought on that word for a while. The more I thought, the more I realized that nothing strikes me as more resilient than the human spirit. It can hold its breath beneath the largest waves, it can bend with the strongest winds, it can absorb a torrential rainstorm, and it can survive extreme seasons of drought. We are buoyant against the tides, submissive to the winds, quenched by the rain, and often healed in the desert.

As we lean into the stormy struggle, we lean into Jesus. For God is often hidden in pain.

He stretches and strengthens our spirit.

The further I stretch a rubber band, the further it’s going to fly through the air.

As I think on resilience, I feel the need to call on women. Young, old, and in-between. You are resilient and stronger than you know. The world needs the strength of your heart; the fearlessness of it. You friends need it, your husband, boyfriend, your children, and family...

Only you can grow a miracle inside you, and by the sheer grace of God, bring him or her into this world. There is something about you... something that transcends humanity. You've been given a huge responsibility- a divine one. And it is not to be taken lightly. You are nurturers. Encouragers. Doers. Workers. Helpers. Wise. And above all, God fearing.

I've known too many women who don't understand the love with which they were created. They don't understand how the fall of Eve has affected them and therefore, cannot come to grips with their sin, their struggle, and their curse. They don't understand the hope they're called to, the enemy that hunts them, and the God that pursues and protects them. Their soft hearts are hardened or severely and almost irreversibly damaged by culture, parents, tragedies, and the lies they believe about what men want and what makes them beautiful.

Our world does not make it very easy for a woman to believe she's worth something. Our world does not make it very easy to believe there is no divinity in a mirror, a scale, a magazine, or a boy. The world makes it very difficult for a woman to be resilient. To stand up under the pain, the threats, and the war of life. This is exactly why we must fight for our heart.

There is something about a Godly woman that encompasses an incredibly durable spirit.

She's just not shaken. She knows the future isn't hers. She doesn't worry or fear. She rises early. She works hard. She's okay with mud and sweat. She protects her children; she plays with them. She supports her husband- challenges him and loves him deeply. She knows how to rest. She lets herself cry. She is compassionate. She is disciplined. She doesn't need to be seen by the world as "great" or "beautiful." She knows who she is, despite opinions and lies. Her identity lies with God; He is her justifier. She serves. She doesn’t strive for fame or title. She doesn’t compete with other women for beauty, praise, or adornment. She is brave. She is consistent. And she is passionately pursued and adored by her Maker. She's the kind of woman who allows your heart to rest simply by being around her.

I have not met many women like this.

The miles of heartache and disappointment, trials, working and praying, build up the endurance of her spirit. Miles upon miles on her heart.

She can run, and run, and run...and not grow faint.

Too many women allow the power of resilience to be robbed from them. Regardless of how or why, they choose bitterness or vanity; they give in to temptations over and over and face traumatic experiences they've never healed from. Thus never experiencing God's redeeming power within. They haven't seen the look in his eyes when he looks at her. They can't even imagine his love.

"We only know who we are saved to, until we know what we are saved from."

Women- you must know your story. Even more, you must know your story within the bigger story. If you don't, you cannot stand up under it. If only all women understood and actually believed how precious they are. What is it going to take?

"For her price is far above rubies..." This kind of woman is hard to find.

Which brings me to the Proverbs 31 woman and how much I desperately want to be her. She is resilient. She is fiery. She is gracious and humble. So much so, she has no idea how special she really is. "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Laughing at the days to come isn't something any of us do well. We are too heavy and often too burdened. Every woman needs a sense of humor. And only women are going to fully understand why. Can we literally laugh at the days to come? I want to. We must pray for that kind of heart.

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." If only we lived in a culture where wives actually brought their husbands good--ALL THE DAYS of her life. We all fall prey to our carnivorous culture, what they tell us we need and "want" or what we "deserve," but women, this is not about us.

"He has full confidence in her..." One of the most fundamental foundations of a God honoring marriage is to be able to trust your partner. Can the greater population of married couples even trust each other?

If marriage was created to be the closest mirror to our relationship with our Father, if it's that sacred, then it's a big deal. We must enter into it with his kingdom in mind, not our own.

His grace ought to build our homes. Love requires it. And the world needs it.

We cannot get married with personal happiness as our goal. We cannot get married, have children, and lose interest in our tasks and our callings. This is far bigger than marriage. Your journey and his glory don’t end there. Your husband needs you. And he is going to need you all the days of his life. You must stand beside him. Figure out what that looks like, and then do it.

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." She lives by love. She doesn't just serve, but is a servant.

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." She is bold. She is devout. She is motivated by love. All she needs is the truth in her soul and the love she's received to go about her days with courage. And with JOY. There should always be joy.

Women we must be strong. We must be virtuous. I want to yell it from the rooftops so the voice of truth is louder than the lies you believe. Women held captive to their childhood or their sin. Enslaved to the lie that they don't matter. The lie that they are used goods. Believing the deprecating words they've been told by parents, siblings, ex-boyfriends. The woman who has been manipulated and controlled. She grows timid and afraid of life- even of opportunity. The arrogant woman hardened by life, thinking her independence is a virtue and her selfish drive is honorable. I wish I could knock on the door of every female soul that has been crushed by life. It can diminish you, but only if you let it.

Resilience.

If we give in to media and if we ignore our story, this can’t be realized. And as a virtuous woman, we cannot want just any man. He must be a virtuous one as well. Choose wisely. Pray for him; even if you don't know who he is yet.

How do we become this kind of woman? We can start today. We can ask God to show us. He will. And what would it look like if the church, our country, had women who lived this way? It is a rebellious way to live. It means never accepting the pitiful standards of the world and never underestimating our strength in the power of God. It means knowing who we are, where we come from, and who we are fighting against. Married or not, this is what we are called to. We are to be warriors.

The ironic part about it all is, is that as a woman we are (or at least were created to be) very soft. We can be fragile. But perhaps that is what makes the true heart of a woman so beautiful and so rare --and even so easily attacked. We break at the sight of injustice and of evil. We break over our hurts and the hurts of others. Like glass, we can seemingly shatter.

This is where the dichotomy lies: we are delicate, but strong. When we embrace our fragility, God manifests his power in us perfectly. He makes us into resilient, soft-hearted, yet tenacious women.

We are not hardened by life. We come to possess a delicate strength; it rises up when others don't expect it. It is a quiet strength and by his grace, it is beautiful.

We will still break, but our hope doesn’t.
We will still break, but our trust doesn’t.
And our spirit isn’t destroyed.
And that, my friends, is the power of a woman.

This must be the most divine and profound aspect of who we are:

To experience and endure the suffering so deeply; to feel in our spirit the fractures of humanity; to go through the labor pains, the raising of children, the curse of relational heartache, the questions and the letting go, and yet still not be shaken, and to look to our Father and say "I trust You; for You are good."

To run, and run, and run…and not grow faint.

The further we are stretched; the further we fly.

May we become the women of a new generation. Women who know their story and who see it in light of eternity. Eternity is now. Women who are transformed, brave, and who yield to the spirit. Women who pray. As we yield to his kingdom within us, our resilience grows. May the redeemed flexibility of our spirit wrap itself around his life. As we do, we allow his power to transcend any pain and any story.

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